Cheat sheet for sitting with the dying and the grieving.

You cannot fix this. You can stay.

Not every hardship is a test, and nothing here is graded.

1. Stay.
   Don't fix it. Sit.

   Say"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
2. Say their name.
   Use the name of the person who died, or who is dying. Then listen to the whole answer.

   Say"Tell me about her."
3. Bring something small.
   A meal, a load of laundry, a ride. Don't ask what they need; say what you are doing.

   Say"I'm bringing dinner Thursday."
4. Be there in the quiet weeks.
   Nights, anniversaries, the second month, when everyone else has gone back to normal.

   Say"I'm thinking of you today."
5. Close one old account.
   If there is time, forgive or apologize for one old thing. Say it, or if saying it isn't safe, write it down and let the page take it.
6. Give it now, not later.
   Hand over the thing you are saving (a tool, a book, a letter) to someone who needs it today. Don't attach a story to it.

Not every hardship is a test, and nothing here is graded. If you are struggling, please talk to someone you trust. In the US you can call or text 988. Elsewhere, findahelpline.com lists services by country.

This is practical, not religious. I think what you show with your choices is what counts. Share it freely.